Anyone who is concerned about our lives in this world should take a look at the video here. It is about 20mins long.
It’s just a coincidence that I just touched upon this topic in the very previous post.
Why do we have to struggle so much to get our basic needs? People struggle everyday for years, claiming that they do so for the welfare of their children. In that pursuit, we take almost everything for granted, right from availability of grains and water to the fact that we will live on until a certain age. The moment something goes wrong, the express of life comes to a jolting halt.
We all work for a living… all the time, at offices, workshops, on the move, at night. We are connected to the web of information even when flying or on a remote island.Yet we don’t have time to sit down with our near and dear, why, even one’s own children when they need us most. Both parents are away at work when this poor child is kept silent watching pokemon or Ninja turtles on TV. And when the teachers complain that the kid had beaten up another or broken stuff throwing them around, the parents’ ire is shown on the kids!
Corporations spring up like weeds overnight and claim to provide ‘better products’!! Cut throat competition is seen as a virtue. Getting to the top spot in the market, by hook or crook, is considered an ideal worth anything in this world, even if it costs one’s health, family or even life. Greed knows no end, yet in the name of development only greed is getting developed. Why do we need 40 different brands of electric toothbrush or mattress? How does it matter whether you travel in a Benz or an Alto, when in the end all you want is to reach your office? We see ‘we love our customers’ in supermarkets…. but NO!!, they love our credit cards! End of the quarter… oh, this deal needs to be done… revenue targets, beat the sales figures.. consumerism… consumerism… consumerism. This is consuming this world slowly and surely.
Why do we have to be like a machine, devoid of basic feelings of companionship to our fellow living entities? Why can’t we lead simpler lives? When did life become so complex that we get need counseling on the art of living? When did we become so hard at heart that we don’t stop to help an injured man or animal on the road? When did we become so short sighted that we would stand on the branch of a tree yet start hacking at the root?
Where is the purpose to this life? What are we doing here? How did it come to this?
I was reading through a magazine last week wherein there was this in response to a reader’s query: “You need to be an intellectual to be an atheist!”.
Is that really so? Then, are all atheists intellectuals?
My friend in the blogworld, Ketan states in his profile that elements of honesty, introspection, analysis go into someone turning an atheist.
That made me wonder: Is it that one who is not an atheist is not honest nor does that one possess the gift of introspection and analysis?
Cannot one be endowed with all that and still be a strong believer in God?
What makes 2 individuals, having the same skills at analysis and ability to ascertain things and their causes, end up with completely different conclusions and yet lets them feel the other person’s conclusion is the wrong one?
Scene: Me holding a heavy bag in one hand, standing in a ‘VERY’ crowded bus, trying to get to the exit before the bus arrives at the next bus stop where I needed to get down.
I was blocked by the conductor and a zillion others from moving forward to the bus’s exit stair. All of a sudden, I hear a shrill girly voice mouthing some gibberish in Hindi-Urdu mix (sorry, I am not good with either language) and on the side, I saw the source of the sound… a Muslim girl (about 15yrs of age) making some rude, jerking movements with her hand towards me. I understood that she wants me to move on and not stand next to her mother or aunt… the Muslim lady who happened to have the aisle seat near which I was stuck.
Apparently, in my twisted pose of having one hand raising the bag above to avoid hitting people and one hand holding the overhead rails for balance, I had brushed against the lady’s arm. And now she thinks I have no better job than standing there and wants me to move away.
I stammered some response to the effect that ‘I can’t do anything because the bus is crowded’… but my thanks are due to the gentleman who explained to me that the lady feels its ‘Paap’ or ‘sin’ for a man to brush against her… he also basically let off a swift line of words that basically said ‘STFU’ (for the uninitiated, its ‘shut the f**k up!!’) to the ladies. Now the ‘ladies’ began to shout at him.
At that time, the bus came to the stop where I needed to get off. Grabbing my chance, I slipped out between the gaps (with a bit of shoving and pushing, actually).
I wish I knew enough Hindi to say just this:
“It’s a bloody, super-crowded bus, and I need to get down at the next stop. I cannot jump out of the window and have to go ‘through’ the crowd to get to the exit.
You ladies hop on to a bulgingly crowded bus, take the aisle seat and then complain that your religious sentiments are hurt because of some man brushing against you when he is trying to get out of the bus? Too f’ing bad! Hire a bloody auto or taxi next time you want to travel… let’s say, unbrushed?!!”
Or so this article quotes the CEO of Blackstone
Wealth? What wealth? Minted paper and psychologically enhanced ‘value’ is now being called wealth!!!
Who can say what is the actual WORTH of a square feet of land?
What use is ‘paper’ money, if you can keep printing ‘$2,000,000′ notes and you need just one to buy a loaf of bread? (don’t know what I am talking about? Check on Zimbabwe’s economic condition in Google).
Who does care or even know about actual wealth these days?
Its funny and sad that we churn out a zillion MBAs and PhDs every year and yet we cannot answer the simplest of questions without using some hi-fi jargon.
10 months of ‘head hunting’, ranting over here in my blog and countless arguments at home and with friends over several aspects… finally the issue is now put to rest.
The search has ended, folks. I am on my way to losing my dominion as the single, unquestioned ruler of my life. Its time now for power sharing!!
In a couple of weeks, I am getting engaged to a poor soul who will suffer me for the rest of her life *evil laughter*.
Bah… Just kidding. Not the engagement part, though. Me is getting engaged come this Feb. Any advice from ‘veterans’ on the treading the path towards married life is welcome… other than the “don’t get married” stuff, that is. 
There is one issue which seems to irk so many of the prospective brides and their parents we talk to.
Why did your son come back from USA?
The million dollar question. Why the hell would someone come back to this existence in India from USA? It seems like they consider it to be big sin to come back from USA. Once in USA, stay in USA… that’s their motto.
Well, let me tell ya’all something. The decision to come back was made by ME… I didn’t even consult with my parents. I took the decision and informed them. They didn’t have any problems. So, why on earth would I have to rationalize a decision to a complete stranger, almost two-and-a-half years after I made it?
It should go without saying that the bride search is not going very strong, at least in my opinion. Girls and their parents these days are mostly unpredictable… not to mention the complete lack of courtesy. My uncle from USA was here at my home couple of weeks ago and we were shocked to hear that his colleague had to endure some really, really stupid, yet disturbing questions when he talked to some girl’s parent while searching for a bride for his son. Some of the questions are given below:
1) Would you stay with your son after his marriage? If you would be staying separately, how frequently would you visit him? ( Hint:Its not the family bond they are concerned about.)
2) How much is your net worth? How much will your son inherit?
3) Do you have a hospital near your home? How much insurance do you and your wife have?
Needless to say, the man left the place in shock. The marriage alliance never happened.
… sounds crazy?
One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must stat each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true,
One life can make a difference,
You see, it’s up to you!
In my profession of Project Management, above all things, we stress upon one factor as being the key to a project’s success or failure. Communication. It is so important and crucial that Communications Management has become a specialty nowadays.
The point is proper communication isn’t just for projects. It is very relevant to our personal lives too. It does take a level of discipline, but when accomplished, you will see that your life in general would be much more easier.
When it comes to relationships, communication is paramount. When you commit to someone that you will call them by, say, 7PM… you better call! Otherwise you might come across as being negligent or easy going. If you don’t return a call from someone promptly, it will be viewed as being discourteous.
So, small things like returning calls promptly, keeping up timings, not indulging in familiar talk with newly introduced people at the outset, keeping people informed about delays in decisions or deliveries… these are very much relevant to everyone’s personal relationship as it is to project management.
Its a pity that many people can’t seem to understand this simple fact.
I am thinking of documenting my search for a life partner here. I am feeling now that it will become a mega-hit in the blog (or a flop. Never mind that. 
)
So, I see a girl’s profile today… seems like she is the only child in the family. Her description went somewhat like this. “… only child. Parents will stay with me after marriage. Will marry only after completing PG.” (she’s just completed her BE!! :O)
Riiight. A brahmin iyer girl, putting up a profile, say, 3 years in advance, with a demand that will elicit a sure shot “NO” from 99% of prospectives. Hmmm.
By the way, I am slowly beginning to understand the dynamics of this whole ‘arranged marriage’ thingy. Oh-so-many preferences on Gothras, ancestral origin, subsect… blah blah blah. I see soooo many profiles which state “Only Vadamal/ Brahacharanam people need respond”. People, remind me. Which age are we in!!? Sheesh!
Oh and this too… “only boys with H1B/ Green Card need apply” (Am I applying for a job or something?) and ” Must support her higher education” (*DING!! bulb glows overhead* Ah ha! I see it now!).
Get this… an unwritten rule that many people follow (including my parents, who do it sometimes): “If you don’t want to proceed with an alliance with a prospective bride or groom, don’t respond to their mails or calls. They will get it”. I simply respond… “No, you just made yourself look discourteous”.
I wish some girl (conditions apply )agrees to marry soon and spare me any more of this nonsense!! (Ok, OK!! I am just venting, alright!? Can’t a guy just vent in peace?)
Oookey… its official then. The great hunt has begun.
I am not talking about the Robert Jordan book. Me talks about the hunt for the person who will have to suffer me for the rest of her life. (Take a joke, ok?) But guess what the trouble is!!!? There are hardly any girls who fall within an acceptable height compared to mine (about 183cms) and even those that do come close, seem to be always from the same, dreaded “Bharadwaja Gothram”. Sucks. And if somehow I manage to find some to my liking, the great Gods (read ‘parents’) throw thunderbolts of flimsy (IMO) reasons to reject it.
Oh well, s***t happens.
But I must confess that I have had quite an amusing time browsing through profiles at you-know-where and am surprised to see that almost every Jane Doe is “God fearing, respects elders, respects tradition, soft-spoken” and would like their partner to be “tall, fair, handsome, well settled, well read, respecting elders and traditions”. Almost 75% of the crowd I have looked at seem to work in either Infosys, CTS, TCS or Wipro. And to boot, many of them prefer only an ‘Amarickaa Mapillai’… and have a fine print saying “would like to pursue higher studies”. (I got nothing against such arrangements but just feeling sorry for unfortunate males, like me, who have to shell out parents money and drag our asses across to USA and get a degree. )
All in all, People, the future looks bleak for me.
Father abuses daughter for 24 years
What more horrors will this world face in the years to come?
We had this activity of writing a poem about women for last month’s Birthday Bash at work, which took on the theme of Women’s day.
Below is the poem I wrote.
Many a man’s success, many a nation’s demise
Bear the footprint of a woman, with virtue or vice.
Love of the mother, for life given,
Bond of the wife, until life taken,
Like two rains from two clouds in the same sky
One nourishing, other balancing.
Understand the origins of life… I can,
Understand a feminine mind… I cannot.
Contradictions, galore, in harmony… a woman!
News like the one above makes me very, very sad. Committing suicide in fear of exams? What must have driven those young minds to take such terrible, desperate steps? What kind of stress those kids must have been going through before coming to such a disastrous decision? And here we are, complaining about stress at jobs, stress in marriage and what not. We have thousands of crack pot stress relief programs to teach us how to ‘deal’ with stress, effective or not. What do these innocent kids have? Who is to tell them it is alright to have failures in life, leave alone in exams, as long as one doesn’t loses hope? Who is to encourage them to face failure and try again, without denting their confidence and self-esteem?
Education in India is mostly driven by strong emotions of parents who want to see their child ’succeed’ in life. Parents, esp. in India think that hurting their child’s self-esteem by making negative statements about the kids abilities, like comparing their kids with someone else’s, threatening the child with humiliation in event of ‘failure’ (as defined by the parents), will actually make the child want to put in more effort and make the parents proud.
But what does a child know about pride? What does a child know about Indian family politics, where ’status’ is determined by how much one earns and the name of the company he/ she works for?
Statements like
“If you don’t get good marks in the board exams, you will spoil your entire life!”
“All your friends will ridicule you if you don’t study for engineering or MBBS”
“Why don’t you get smart and have only the top rankers in your class as friends?”
“You have to put study efforts for at least 14hrs a day… 8hrs at school, 6hrs at home. If you don’t, you will not get good marks and then you will become worthless!”
“You got only 85% marks!! Miserable wretch! You are only fit to herd pigs!! May be I will get you 50 pigs… no, you won’t be able to do even that!”
…
don’t actually help a child! These kind of comments blows holes in the child’s confidence like a shotgun firing through a sheet of paper. It breaks the fragile minds, giving them a feeling that no matter how hard they try they will not satisfy expectations. Some also begin to believe that if they ‘fail’ in something, ‘they’ have proven to be worthless.
Instead of giving love and affection, parents end up scorning, beating and sometimes even endangering the child’s future as well as life.
I don’t usually see hindi movies… hardly, actually. But I saw ‘Taare Zameen Par’. Excellent movie. There is one statement in that movie which sums up the solution to problems faced by millions of children (Indian, too) throughout the world.
“Parents should stop burdening their children with the huge weight of their own ambitions.”
I completely agree with it.
There are few things that are much harder to understand than the mind of a girl.
“The beauty of a human face is marred not by age, but by the worries that pile upon the mind over time. That is why a child, no matter who it is, always has a beautiful smile when even the most handsome looking adult has to try hard to even smile!” – A barber in some barbershop in Chennai.
Ever had someone tell you, with a beaming face, that they are proud to be branded as belonging to a “backward” class?
I had a person tell me exactly that a couple of days ago.
Sad.
From the Sword of Truth series by Terry GoodKind:
“Sometimes that’s all life is: one desperate act after another.” – Zedd
“When you are out numbered, and the situation is hopeless, you have no option-you must attack!” - Richard
“Third Time tricked, marks the fool.” - Richard
“Everything is valuable under the right conditions. To a man dying of thirst, water be more precious than gold. To a drowning man, water be of little worth and great trouble.” – Adie
Obi was walking down the corridor when his friend Tang called him from his room.
“Oi Obi, wassup man? Didn’t see you for two days!”
“Ya know what happened”, Obi replied with a sour face. “That mad man JD went crazy on me when I was cleaning up the dining floor.”
“Yeah, well… you shouldn’t have talked back when he asked you to clean his room first, dude. He is one mean a**hole. Getting back to work tonight?”
“I guess… whachoo doing? writing another letter? Dude, get over it! She is not coming back!”
“Says you! I didn’t land up in here because I wanted to. She will realize it pretty soon!”
“Whatever… wanna join me for dinner? I can’t begin work until the floor’s closed, ya know!”
“Whats for dinner? I hope its not the same crap they put yesterday night”.
“I guess it is the same… well, pull yourself up. Either way it don’t matter. If we are gonna be here for the next year with JD as the head of kitchens in this jail, you might as well get used to it”.
Just thought I could share with you all some insightful quotes I heard/ read recently.
“Sometimes, anger can help you survive.” “So can faith!” – From the movie X-MEN
“You talk to God, you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re psychotic.” – From the TV series “House”
“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.” – J K Rowling in her book “Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone”
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.” – J.R.R. Tolkien in the book series “Lord of the Rings”
“Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent.”
“There is magic in forgiveness you grant and more so in forgiveness you receive.” – Terry Goodkind
I give counsel and hope to many people, yet I despair when times are dire.
Many people think I am too philosophical. I just consider them to be too mundane.
Speaking lies is extremely bad. But you don’t have to tell the full truth either!
You don’t need poverty or disease to make life miserable. Unbridled lust and hate will do just fine for that purpose.
Most practical solution for happiness?
nāsti buddhir ayuktasya na cāyuktasya bhāvanā
na cābhāvayataḥ śāntir aśāntasya kutaḥ sukham – Bhagavad Gita 2.66
“One who is not connected with the Supreme can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace?“
The man looked decent enough, with his pressed shirt, trimmed beard, neat trousers and polished shoes. Given the laptop case held in his left hand and the proximity to the software company nearby, he would have probably been an IT professional in that company. He had somethings in his right hand and was walking away from a small pavement store.
Suddenly, he tripped on a pavement stone and fell forward. To protect his face, he used the only leverage he had that time… his right hand. Consequently, whatever he held in his hand… a small biscuit pack, 2 cigarettes and his keys… were thrown away in to the muddy slush on the side of the pavement from the previous day’s rain.
He managed to pull himself up and looked painfully at the items strewn in the mud. Then slowly, he took his keys from the ground, shook them to remove the mud and put them in his trouser’s pocket. Then he picked up the two cigarette, wiped them with his hand kerchief and kept those in his shirt pockets. A disgusting look came on his face, looking at the small biscuit pack lying in the mud, the wrapping intact… he just turned and started walking away.
This is a story from the Chandogya Upanishad, about a boy named as Satyakama Jabala.
“Once, Satyakama, the son of Jabala, asked his mother, ‘I want to live as a brahmacari. Which dynasty (gotra) do I belong to?’ Jabala answered, ‘My son, I do not know which dynasty you belong to; in my youth I served as a midservant in various places and at that time begot you as my son. Therefore I don’t know which gotra you belong to. My name is Jabala and your name is Satyakama. Therefore you should say that your name is Satyakama Jabala.’
Thereafter Satyakama Jabala approached Haridrumata Gautama and said, ‘I wish to live with you as a brahmacari.’ Gautama replied, ‘O gentle one, which dynasty do you belong to?’ Satyakama replied, ‘ I do not know which dynasty I belong to. I asked my mother and she said, ‘I begot you as my son when I was wandering in my youth as a maidservant. Therefore I do not know which dynasty you belong to. My name is Jabala and your name is Satyakama. So I am called Satyakama Jabala.’ Gautama then said to him, ‘My dear son, no one other than a brahmana can speak such truth that you have spoken. Therefore you are a brahmana, and I accept you’.
I wonder how many so called ‘brahmins’ of the present age can really call themselves as “Brahmanas” based on this yardstick.
But I am able to make some very deep infereneces. Yeah… thats just me! *shrug*
Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN — The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a HUGE failure.
In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
The following is a description of a true incident that happened to me during my university days.
*knock… knock*
*door open*
Me: Yeah?
Lady 1 (a bit old): Hi, how are you today? We were just wondering if you would be interested in taking lessons in spoken English.
Me: *using my best accent* Umm… do I sound like a person who needs to take those lessons?
Lady 2: *laughs* No. You don’t. But anyway, we are just spreading some awareness about how people can stay happy, lead a good life and such by reading this book. *shows me a bible* Have you heard of Jesus Christ?
Me: Yes I have. I have also read some parts of the Bible once.
Lady 1: Which country are you from, dear?
Me: India.
Lady 1: And which part of India?
Me: Would you know if I told? *smile* I am from a southern state called TamilNadu.
Lady 1: *her looks change quickly* Are you by any chance… a ‘brahman’?
Me: *raising eyebrows* Thats ‘Brahmin’… and yes, I am one.
*Something changes in their look. Both the ladies look at each other and I can feel something being communicated*
Lady 1 & 2: *in a jumble* Well, thanks for your time. Have a nice day!
Me: *blink blink*
The more and more I meet new people, I am convinced that understanding a person is most essential to meaningfully relate with him/her. Easier said than done.
Hope, being an emotional state, differs from optimism which is a result of a thought out conclusion. Often the by-product of faith, hope has been the driving force behind many things in this world. Interestingly, the Greeks considered hope as the greatest evil because, without hope, other evils will not be such a torment to mankind. It is because of hope that one believes that other torments will come to an end sometime.
But in reality, everyone hopes for something or the other to happen favorably for them. But as their hope jumps from one thing to another in quick succession, they get torn between the feeling of “I am almost saved” and “oh no! I am almost dead…” over and over again.
In essence, it is alright to trust to hope in life. But life itself shouldn’t be based on hope.
There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?” A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”
Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck?
Who knows?
Everything that seems on the surface to be an evil may be a good in disguise. And everything that seems good on the surface may really be an evil. So we are wise when we leave it to God to decide what is good fortune and what is misfortune, and thank him that all things turn out for good with those who love him.
Mike’s cell phone rang. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and cleaned his hands on the cloth held by his work belt.
It was his wife calling.
“How’s work today, Mike?”
“You know how it is everyday, dear. Is there any problem at home?”
“No, no… just wanted to inform you that our neighbor, old Steven, died just a couple of minutes ago.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah… it’s sad. He was a good man. Listen, Mary wants you to be there for the burial.”
“I will be. Tell her that I will be over there to help once I am done with work here.”
“Ok. See you back home soon”.
“Bye!”
Mike slipped the cell phone in to its pouch and went back to shoveling the mud over the coffin, which lay 6 feet under.
1) The day I was born – so that I may type this today
2) The day I first fell down the stairs and saw my own blood – so that I may remember shock, pain and fear
3) The day I left for USA – so that I may remember anxiousness, exhilaration
4) The day I met my mentor – so that I may remember what it is to look in awe, be amazed by and respect humility, knowledge and purity
5) The day I first read the Bhagavad Gita – so that I may remember the force of Absolute Truth upon the self… blinding, sharp, uncompromising, blissful
6) The day I realized everything happens for good, but it need not be pleasurable – so that I may never falter in my determination
7) The day I realized that our solutions become our further problems – so that I may never give in to impulse and be ‘just another’ human
8 ) The day I sat in my first job – so that I may remember what it was to serve others with the fear of nothing should go wrong
9) The day I decided to come back to India - so that I may remember that it is wiser to search for peace of mind instead of just plain happiness
10) The day I was recognized for what I was – so that I may remember to thank everyone by whose examples I have changed myself to reach this point
11) This day –To thank my Lord for the gifts of introspection, faith, strength and wisdom
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