Becoming hard hearted?
This is something I wanted to write about for the past year… yes, believe it or not, I never could get myself to pen my thoughts on this.
I walk to office daily (yeah, its about 15mins from my home :)). I always take the same route back and forth.
There are about 5 beggars sitting in various places in my way. A sort of old man with a torn bag, a muslim man with a clean kurta and ‘lungi’ but sporting an always bandaged hands and feet, a woman with very dirty clothes and crutches, an old man who has his hands eaten by leprosy and an old woman who… is just old.
I have been taking the walk to my office for the past 19 months or so by the same route everyday. I was freshly back from USA and you know, my emotions were at war with reason. (You will not understand it if you haven’t gone through it). Anyway, initially, I used to actually feel sorry for these people and if I had any change in my pockets, I used to drop them to these beggars twice or thrice a week.
But as time passed, I began to literally become numb to seeing these beggars… and stopped giving them alms. My feeling was that these were just trying to live off others’ pity and money. It was fueled by the fact I have seen many other people by now that have the same physical problems as these beggars but are doing some kind of work to earn their bread. That’s my ‘reason’ speaking.
My ’emotion’ side says I have just become hard hearted… that I no longer reflect on the suffering around me… that I have become just one another machine doing its job day in and day out.