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Things I would like to see banned in India… a wishlist

July 17, 2015 Leave a comment

  1. Pictures, busts, statues of political leaders in government offices. They belong in museums or memorials… may be separate rooms. This is a huge culture issue, I acknowledge that. Nevertheless… the point stays.
  2. Political party flags – Ban them without exception, especially those that get put on a flagpole or on the car bonnets or held in rallies (which come later in the list)
  3. Vehicle Horns – no further explanation required. May be once these sonic triggers are removed, people would be forced to drive more carefully (would be a disaster, you say? may be for a starting period)
  4. Wall posters – High time we rid this country of this disease… putting up wall posters for everything ranging from puberty functions (yes you read that right… or in a more subtle wording… “coming of age” functions), sexual disease cures, job offers to the ever present menace of political posters.
  5. Flex boards (at least those on the side of roads, low height) – some are ads, many are just mega sized wall posters.
  6. Rallies (religious, political, strikes, protests, support… anything) which disrupt public transport and general movement of vehicles and pedestrians.
  7. Paid queues in temples – especially, do away with VVIP/VIP darshan.
  8. Loudspeakers in any religious organization or institution that is used on a regular basis and in events- temples, mosques, churches, prayer gatherings… whatever. Ban them or at least let them spend on some acoustics and limit the sound within their premises. Festivals might be an exception, but again within volume limits.
  9. Subsidies for pilgrimages – again, without exception.
  10. Printing pictures or paintings of Deities (no matter what the religion is) on plastic covers, paper bags, cloth bags, invitation covers, shirts, shawls etc. No exceptions. (I would have added the whole gamut of plastic, or plaster cast fancy mini idols and the millions of photo frames too, but let’s go with baby steps here.)
  11. Open air, unlicensed slaughterhouses
  12. Big shopping establishments without sufficient car parks (or licenses in the first place!)
  13. Release of more than one love story based film in a year, per language – we have an overflow of idiots flooding the cinema halls with obscenity and low grade songs/ dialogues, all in the name of contributing to “art”.
  14. Plastic or foam plates or cups, plastic packaging for hot items in food outlets
  15. Roadside eateries without clean water storage tanks or proper sinks (Oh how many times have I seen the same water in a bucket be used to clean utensils over and over again… not to mention the mess our people leave by washing hands on the pavement sides?)
  16. Marriages which cost beyond Rs. 20 lakhs (hmm… now why did I mention that here?)
  17. Hotels with rooms having toilets without a health faucet… bidet shower… bum gun… whatever. (seriously!)

I do have one last point… which may not be possible to ban, but should be made illegal. You want to know what that is?

I would like to make it illegal for people to marry unless they have a proper job and a place to stay (owned, rented… whatever… but certainly not a fish cart for a home). It is almost everyday that I see small children living in horrible, decrepit conditions because their parents don’t have the intelligence nor the sense control to keep their pants and skirts up, in the absence of proper living quarters and sustenance. No fundamental right to breed if you cannot provide for your family! There. I said it.

I will keep adding more as and when.(yeah I am just bored out!)

What are your thoughts?

Corporate performance management – Mantra effect!

July 17, 2015 Leave a comment

Mantra – that which liberates the mind.

Some of the statements that I have heard (and not all of them were said to me) over the past couple of years literally makes my mind go Brrrffttzztt! How liberating!

You are a good performer, you really are. You did meet your goals and went the extra mile in many situations. But we just cannot give a 4 or 5 because we need to follow a distribution. Only 10% of the team size can be at a 4 or 5 rating. But you did get the highest % hike!

Guess what the team size was.

You did a good job last couple of months, but I give you a rating of 2 because your ex-boss, my predecessor, did not give me a summary of what you have accomplished.

How unique? Totally responsible and accountable!

There will be no raise for anyone in the company given the dismal market and our bad cash situation. But in appreciation of your hard work, we will still hand out the bonuses… as per your contracts.

And the CEO and his cronies gets a couple of hundred thousand dollars as performance bonus. Performance? What performance?

Soooo… another year has passed. It was just wonderful, really wonderful. Your performance has been fantastic… and I am giving you a rating of 4. I would like to give you a 5, but hey no one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. So, 4 it is.

So, 5 is basically the carrot. The stick is another year long!

And so it goes on.

Chennai road rage – being almost stupid

July 6, 2015 2 comments

I came pretty darn close to getting in to a street fight today.

I was returning from office and was almost near my home, which is in a street that is not too wide… when I saw that the road was half blocked by a construction lorry, with another car parked on the opposite side of the road.

There were a couple of vehicles which were working their way through the gap… so being the ‘courteous’ driver I was (my father loves to remind me I am not born and grown in USA), I sided up just a bit behind the lorry and made way for the vehicles in the opposite direction. Then I hear this (very irritating) blare of a car horn behind me… which even after being able to see what was going on, kept honking. I ignored it the first 2-3 times… but then it really got to me. Guess I was having a road rage moment. So, once the path cleared, I maneuvered my car through the gap, and parked it couple of houses down the street and when the honking man passed me, I looked to see who was in it… and found him glaring at me. Eyes met… he kept rolling, so then the connection broke, I decided to drop it there.

I got out, opened the gate, and then parked my car inside. When I went near the gate to close it, I noticed that this guy was parking his car right opposite to my gate. That moment, something snapped… my mistake #1. I should have just ignored and gone upstairs, but I walked over to the guy… with a small smile, asked him to roll down the window, and asked him “I would have given way if I had it in front of me in the first place, so you needn’t have honked…”. That’s it… he started foulmouthing me, got down from his car, making threatening advances… (and amusingly), even started looking for a stone to throw at me! He was a well-dressed man, an office goer, probably well educated… but the way he exploded was a bit shocking to me. Here is my mistake #2… I was being horribly and most insanely naïve… was I expecting this guy to just say “Oh so sorry”? A super dumb moment, for sure.

I had my hackles up now and got to a defensive posture (I am taller by half a finger and outweighed him as well), but he didn’t relent and still kept coming at me. Realizing that things might get out of hand, and now that he might know where I live, I started walking back with this moron taunting me. I shouted something back, don’t even remember what as I was in a haze of anger myself. I just got back in to my home, still with the haze, but the moment I looked at my little 1 yr old son who came running to me, babbling in his sweet infant language , I then realized I had actually done the best thing possible at that time… I walked away and defused a potentially dangerous situation. Should I have dug my heels in and thrown my fists, things might have gotten very ugly real fast but I am now thankful they didn’t… for the sake of my family and his too (he was picking up his kid from school I think), at the very least.

As for the other guy…I got reinforcement on the fact that looks are deceiving. Well dressed and educated guys driving fancy cars make bigger morons and a**holes than the poor taxi guys trying to make their ends meet. This jerk is bound to get in to trouble sometime or other. He will learn his lesson another day… with a bloody, broken mouth instead of just a foul one. (yes, I am being nasty now. Too bad!)

I learned my lesson… give up on trying to be reasonable with drivers on the road. May be it is all the stress from the driving that causes people to blow up… but I think I will just keep my expectation down and be more aware of situations on the road going forward.

Narayana means Tripurasundari Devi! OMG, I never knew!

June 12, 2014 Leave a comment

We all know people might go to any lengths to actually prove a point of their beliefs (including me, I am only human after all)… but one article I came across today seems to the pinnacle of that effort. The gentleman who wrote that article has spent so much time and effort in trying to prove that the sacred hymn of Narayana Suktam is actually meant for Tripurasundari Devi and not Lord Narayana.

The gentleman keeps referring to his “detailed analysis” as to why Narayana in Narayana Suktam cannot refer to Lord Narayana… but the detailed analysis that he refers to is just a jugglery of root words… concluding with the ONLY MEANING of the word Narayana is “That being / entity whose direction is towards nara (purusha)” or “That being / entity whose goal is to move towards nara (and reach him as final destination)”. And boom… out of the blue, the Nara/Purusha is Shiva, the being/entity whose goal is to move towards Nara is Tripurasundari Devi.

Declaring that Bhagavad Gita was not spoken by Lord Krishna (seems like he was in a trance and Lord Shiva spoke through him), that Sita Devi is actually Parvati Devi and Lord Rama is actually Lord Shiva, Srimad Bhagavatam as a fake purana are the crown jewels of this twisty twist effort.

I did not spend too much time on any of the pages in the site (obviously), but it looks to me that people like these keep running their conclusions between Lord Shiva is supreme, or/and Shakti is supreme and then all of a sudden Lord Shiva becomes this formless, nameless, qualityless Parabrahman and Tripurasundari Devi becomes the cliched mystic kundalini in everyone’s body.

*Facepalm*

I have no problem if someone wants to worship only Lord Shiva, consider him as the Supreme Being, spread the goodness around… may his devotion grow forever and may his life be blessed. But I am clearly annoyed when people keep jumping between personalism and impersonalism like intoxicated monkeys when it comes to professing their devotion to Lord Shiva. In doing that, while thinking they are glorifying his mystic potency and showcasing their own intellectual prowess of understanding 2 irreconcilable positions as the same, they actually insult him in to nothingness.

Edit: I came across a site that rips apart this particular fancy theory of Narayana means Tripurasundari devi. Anyone interested can visit http://narayanastra.blogspot.in/p/the-absurdity-of-shakta-interpretations.html and enjoy the carnage.

Categories: Absurd, Atrocity, Humor, People, Religion

Moving lines…

May 3, 2014 Leave a comment

கன்றின் குரலும் கன்னித் தமிழும் சொல்லும் வார்த்தை அம்மா அம்மா
கருணை தேடி அலையும் உயிர்கள் உருகும் வார்த்தை அம்மா அம்மா
எந்த மனதில் பாசம் உண்டோ அந்த மனமே அம்மா அம்மா

பூவும் பொன்னும் பொருந்தி வாழும் மழலை கேட்டேன் தந்தானவன்
நாளை உலகில் நீயும் நானும் வாழும் வழிகள் செய்வானவன்

Why doesn’t anyone write songs like these nowadays?

Almost (this being the key word) every damn movie nowadays is about some stupid love story, with some horrible, beaten path sequences, acrobatic fight sequences… can live with all that… but the songs…my god, the songs are murder! Most of them are absolutely crass, filthy and puke worthy.

All this brouhaha about Devyani Khobragade and Sangeeta Richard

December 20, 2013 Leave a comment

Devyani Khobragade Incident– Wikipedia link.

1) The key question is did Ms. Devyani knowingly and willingly make a second agreement signed with her domestic help fixing the salary for Rs. 30K per month only, when the original agreement shown for the visa purpose was based on the minimum wage as per US law – If the second agreement is real and verified, then the US government is fully justified in taking legal action against Ms. Devyani.

2) Was the US Justice Department correct in the way it handled the case? I don’t care. I can hazard a guess that there are too many people that get arrested visa fraud or perjury… Ms. Devyani did not have diplomatic immunity at the time of the arrest, so I don’t see how the arrest was executed to be a problem.

3) This whole noise of diplomatic row drowns another key player in this mess… the domestic help, Ms. Sangeeta Richard. Looks like she just got greedy and wanted to work outside of her stipulated job on off days. And she wanted to get a change of passport, visa to settle in USA. For this it seems like she resorted to harassment, blackmailing or whatever. If this is proven true, then she deserves to be punished by USA law (and Indian law) too. No wonder USA does not have visa free travel for Indians… will never happen, I guess. But I also am wondering how an injuntion and arrest warrant from an Indian court on an Indian citizen, conveyed through the consular channels were ignored by US officials.

Agreed that the USA government is surely not “balanced” in handling such cases with other country consular officials (Russia or Pakistan, as in recent times), or for its own hurried evac of accused personnel from its consular offices on claims of diplomatic immunity… but that is no reason for India to demand that the charges be dropped. In my opinion, the reaction from the Indian government is downright childish… and moving Ms. Devyani to the UN mission post haste is now making it look even more foolish. The most funniest reaction of all came from Mayawati madam, who said “I know I should not bring caste into this but the overall conduct with this girl was inappropriate. The central government reacted late because she was a Dalit”. She just couldn’t resist playing the dalit card.

People like both the “now-diplomat level” Ms. Devyani and the domestic help level Sangeeta (and the idiots who rioted in Singapore) are few examples as to why opinion about Indians is not too great in foreign lands. I have seen too many incidents that reinforce this thought… that we Indians are given a bit too much to a sense of entitlement, ‘above the law’ attitude and not being too concerned about ethics if things can get in their favor or can be hidden from public view, in general.

Karunanidhi worries about power cuts in Tamilnadu?

January 15, 2013 Leave a comment

I don’t think he actually worries about a problem which he is responsible for in the first place.

And… I wonder where his party bootlickers got the electricity to power all the fancy lights and stuff to massage his ego by “celebrating” the bogus “new” tamil new year on pongal day.

Power cut? What?

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